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Prince Caspian

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"Cara has managed to...create a character that is both mythical and life-like. Impulsive, moody, and yet kind and good-hearted, Caspian is just beginning to show the makings of a true leader."
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April 11, 2010, 09:07:48 PM
*wanders in an away-from-them-wardly direction*
April 06, 2010, 07:38:36 PM
Irritations indeed... *growls and sits on the ground, holding her head*
April 04, 2010, 08:10:18 PM
Alright, let's avoid fighting among ourselves. Save those irritations for the battlefield.
April 02, 2010, 11:25:42 PM
*grabs at the throbbing ache in her head* You! This hasn't a thing to do with you unless you're about ready to hand over my weapon! *groans cause it REALLY hurt* You... *slouches against a tree*
April 02, 2010, 11:24:35 PM
Angry It was just a little fun, lighten up. (rubs his cheek) You're lucky you're a lady, else I'd have boxed your ears.
April 02, 2010, 11:23:03 PM
D:< (swats Arina upside the head)
April 02, 2010, 11:20:46 PM
I do believe I was well within my rights, making unfounded accusations! And I could have very well hit him with something else if some feathered maiden hadn't snatched away my bow!
April 02, 2010, 11:19:11 PM
>:/ That was completely uncalled for.
April 02, 2010, 11:18:42 PM
:O
April 02, 2010, 11:18:21 PM
*slaps the despicable de la Braose man*
April 02, 2010, 11:15:48 PM
XD
April 02, 2010, 11:12:38 PM
Young WHAT?! *please imagine a rather screechy voice as she thinks of a way to kill person*
April 02, 2010, 11:07:17 PM
Ahh, young love Grin
April 02, 2010, 10:26:40 PM
-grins-
April 02, 2010, 10:08:49 PM
*scowls and says through clenched teeth* I believe I disagree.
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Jack Aries
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« on: October 24, 2009, 03:51:01 PM »

About You
Name: Will, but you can call me Huss
Age: 17
How did you find us: I’ve been googling Narnia sites for ages and found an ad for you on some random college site
Rules Password: [Password Accepted ~Misha]

Character Basics
Full Name: Jack Aries
Alias(es)/Nickname(s):
Gender: Male
Age: 26
Species: Human
Status/Title: Grand warrior
Affiliation: Narnia

Character Appearance
Hair/Fur/Feathers: Black
Eyes: Black
Overall: Jack has a handsome face with a toned but not overly bulk body. He is usually seen without a shirt, boots, his hair loose and free and his fists taped up each with an 'X' emblazoned on the back of the hand. In battle he doesn’t wear any armour, relying g entirely on hitting them before they hit him, this tactic has often proved to be his downfall as he has had many near death experiences but then he has also escaped many due to his quickness without armour. He is sometimes seen with a solid gold belt around his waist which was presented to him for his deeds in battle.
Portrayal:

Character Personality
Likes:
1. his swords
2. long journeys
3. women
4. views (landscapes)
5. art
Dislikes:
1. people who have no respect
2. tainted views (disfigured landscapes
3. the cold
4. tyranny
5. boredom
Strengths:
1. great physical condition
2. willpower
3. dare devil attitude
4. charm
5. resourcefulness
Weaknesses:
1. reckless nature
2. no concept of scale
3. cocky when it comes to challenges
4. lack of knowledge about his surroundings
5. relaxed nature about life (can get him attacked easily)

General Personality: Jack is almost never quiet, always very keen to talk to people no matter what house they’re in, this is partially due to wanting to rebel against his parents who were always very choosy with who he befriended in that they didn’t want Jack to mingle outside the group of people they deemed worthy of him, Jack had immediately disliked this idea having grown up with his parents idea of good people and quickly realising that he didn’t belong amongst their choices. This was due to his permanent view that only looking out for number 1 (although usually very effective) hardly ever worked due to the enemies one could make by taking such an attitude, the complete disinterest in his supposed class immediately set him out as the oddity in the family. He therefore is mainly eager to befriend those his parents disapproved of on the basis that they have more of a sense of humour and aren’t always so full of themselves. Another part of wanting to rebel from his parents and be different to his adopted family is that Jack is one who doesn’t mind having to cope with things, primarily food. Grown up with the idea that being in his parent’s class means that you could get served anywhere and anyhow right down to the species of olive in your suflea, Jack associated this sort of luxury with his parents and so immediately spurned it. He enjoys eating the things he likes most but he isn’t one who pushes their plate away, to him it isn’t a case of ‘do I like it?’ It’s more a case of ‘am I hungry? Yes? Then eat something!’ he doesn’t really care what that something is just so long as its edible, the fact that it tastes good is just a bi-product to him.

 However despite being the natural rebel (probably from his mother’s side) Jack is willing to take orders, but only of a certain kind. Jack is a great believer in first impressions, if you act discriminating in front of him then it will take a very long time for him to forgive you and give you a second chance to redeem yourself, it’s just the same with orders, if you ask him nicely and in a friendly way then he will obey superiors perfectly without fail, if however your orders are brash or lack any feeling of well being then you will find that he very rarely does anything that you ask him to. This is linked to Jack’s dislike of those who don’t care for anyone else.

Jack is also of the breed that isn’t afraid to take a chance, in fact he longs for the opportunity to take a chance. This is because he has always loathed the idea of keeping your head down staying out of trouble and just getting on with your own life, he has always maintained that nothing interesting ever happens to people like that and hates the idea of being doomed to boredom for the rest of his life. This is probably why he was granted the post he has, the idea of throwing himself into the face of death obviously appealing to his risk taking attitude, yes he has injured himself in the past but he simply perseveres and moves on, considering it just a brief obstacle in his life.

Another part of Jack’s mind set is that he rarely looks at the bigger picture, he is of the type who would much rather drink himself stupid and have a wail of a time one night instead of worrying about getting a hangover the next day. His mind set has always been about the here and now rather than the future, normally because he finds that life so much more exciting than planning everything out time after time after time again.

Character History
Family: Magnus Aries (father) and Linda Aries (mother)

General History: 27 years ago a young man named Magnus Aries was attending a dinner being held by a venerable worker in the blacksmith world so that he could try and charm some trust out of the man and maybe get future work with him if he ever needed to go back to being an apprentice if he was hard up for money. He did not expect however to be confronted by the old man’s advisor who upon exchanging a few words with Magnus promptly made it her mission to make sure that he never got any sort of work with her employer. This prompted Magnus to enter something of a skirmish of persuasion with the woman, occasionally showing up at her house to threaten her in the hope of her giving up. Eventually however Magnus was forced to concede that she wouldn’t budge and that he was fighting a losing battle, relying instead on respecting her as an effective advisor, inviting her out to dinner as an apology for his underhanded tactics. That night Linda confessed to him that after a while she had started to look forward to the little visits Magnus paid her to try and intimidate her and there the relationship was sparked, Magnus's desire to advance through this old man and up through the ranks of the best blacksmiths and Linda's attraction to his opportunistic attitude. Linda helped Magnus to secure his place in the heirachy of blacksmith’s and jumped ships, leaving her former employ to settle in at Magnus's forgery as an advisor. After 6 months of having her as his closest advisor Magnus developed his own feelings for the woman and so proposed to her.

Just under 26 years ago a man by the name of Magnus Aries was drunk and rowdy at an inn which he had allowed himself to go to that night due to hoping to meet up with a fellow forger who was supposedly going to offer hi something ‘interesting and had stipulated the inn and had unfortunately stood him up. It was there that despite being married to an advisor named Linda Aries he met a young girl who was lost in the back alleys of the city named Alicia Reed. She had come in to see if she could find a room somewhere for the night. Magnus had been instantly attracted to the girl and had bought her a drink and asked her to sit with him at a table. The grateful girl had obliged the drunk and had sat with him for an hour drinking constantly under his influence, until she got up to leave and find an inn somewhere with rooms, Magnus got angry and in the mad struggle for the door the rather drunken Alicia kissed him. This lead to an incredibly short one night stand.

9 months later no one knew what Magnus had done and no one knew that Alicia had gotten pregnant from the encounter. The girl had given birth to a baby boy with the help of a long time friend of hers who was a healer in the man’s bedroom as Alicia would only trust him with her child and not any medical personnel, unfortunately however she knew full well that she couldn’t keep him. She therefore for the first time since their encounter sought contact with Magnus. After a short search she had managed to secure a meeting with him and they had agreed that he should take the child and make it looks as though he was simply being charitable to a child from the streets by adopting it, Linda would never have to know. Magnus had considered this something of a relief as Linda was infertile and both Magnus and Linda desperately wanted a child. They agreed that Alicia's connection to Magnus would be unknown to both the child and Linda.

One month later Alicia met up with Magnus and Linda to collect their child. Alicia wept as she handed over the baby boy and almost had second thoughts, it was after all her child, her baby boy who she had bonded with over the last month. Magnus wouldn’t have it however and threatened to make sure that she was even worse off than she was then if she so much as looked at the name Aries ever again, forcing Alicia to uphold the deal.

Throughout the child's early life he had demonstrated exactly how different he was to his parents, unfortunately for Magnus he seemed to have not inherited a single aspect of his personality, just his nose. Jack’s rebellious attitude and eagerness to befriend people his parents did not approve of was so overwhelming that on several occasions Magnus had to beat Jack to try and stop him but it simply didn’t work, if anything it made him even more rebellious.

Over the next ten years or so of his life Jack would go through the disapproval of his parents and continue to keep his defining persona, the boredom and regularity of the city seeming to strangle him wherever he went within its walls. At the age of 25 he would join the army, swearing allegiance to Miraz and being given the training expected by the barracks. However, the promise of action simply wasn’t enough for Jack, he longed to actually see the forests from the inside. People said that they were haunted, but that just made Jack more interested, his devil may care attitude towards life longing to find something more, something different than simply doing drills or standing around guarding the walls of the castle of Miraz that would simply never be taken.

It was then that he was accused of mutiny. It was technically correct, Jack’s superior officer (a man by the name of Izlur who was renounced for giving his men a hard time in the belief that it would benefit them in the future) had decided to pick out Jack for the days lackey, forcing him to do the nothing jobs that someone had to do. After having shoes thrown at him by an irate Izlur Jack had simply turned and punched the man as hard as he could, levelling him to the floor. The incident was reported and Jack was placed under house arrest until they got the word of execution. Jack wasn’t content to simply wait for death however, he escaped his own home and headed straight for the city gates. He knew that living in the city was no longer an option and so had decided on finally fulfilling his childhood wonder and ventured into the forests.

His first contact with living beings was the centaurs, who admittedly had to catch him after he tried to escape them once he had actually glimpsed them. Despite longing for something different, he had never once thought that the fabled Narnian’s still lingered in the forests. Once caught he was almost killed if he hadn’t talked his way out of it, the centaurs were about to cut into him when he blurted out that he wanted to help them, it stayed their blades long enough for him to explain why he was there. The centaurs decided to let him live for now and to present him to the other races still alive, believing that he really wasn’t there to harm them and that he wasn’t part of the mass extermination centuries ago. Upon examination of all the other races Jack was far too scared and shocked to be interested in arguing for his own life. After a long and heated debate however it was agreed that he was an ally (though begrudgingly) and most races embraced him into the country on the prompting of the centaurs who had picked him up. Many of the dwarves refused to accept him as a friend or ally and other people followed their example, but there were the many who trusted the centaur’s judgement who did accept him. Jack would then take up the role of ‘the’ warrior of the Narnia forces, not followed by all but gaining trust through his actions. To this day he remains know as ‘the loose force’ of the army of Narnia, a reckless force that must be guided else he perishes. He still has enemies despite being embraced by the Narnian's. He still remains wary of the races that are not so willing to forgive, but he remains their warrior against his old roots. He longs for the position of the ‘spearhead’ of the army, his style of leading into battle every single time, never using armour and refusing the option of a sheild.
Other/Notes: n/a

Sample
RP Sample: From Erisdar:
Screaming. Something that could be seen as a rather universal exclamation meaning several possible things. On the one hand, it could be seen as a scream of terror. This type of scream is easily distinguished, there is always something in the sheer pointlessness of a scared scream that makes you wonder exactly what has driven the screamer to such desperation that they think the sheer power and volume of their scream is more than enough to blast whatever is scaring them through a wall. That was one of the many curious and mainly silly things that Elaniver couldn’t understand about his own race. Too many humans, throughout history had instead of trying to defend themselves against the source of their horror that the best option available to them was to scream their heads off at it. This was one of the reasons why Elaniver made a point at not screaming or making too much of a fuss about anything remotely shocking or scary. You could be captured in front of the man and turn up 5 years later looking much thinner and a lot worse for wares and the most you would get out of him if you weren’t close to him would be a ‘oh, it’s you.’ Not even a ‘how are you’ or a ‘gosh you look well’, just a severe lack of understanding as to the point of gasping in surprise. A scream of pain was also fairly recognisable. It was very similar to the scream of terror only as opposed to the scared scream, which was mainly just the brain shouting at the limbs desperately ‘ohmygodohmygodohmygod’, the pained scream will be more of an exhalation in the vague hope that the pain will pass out of the body through sound.

Elaniver in the inn where he was staying had heard the latter. One of his few visits to the Empire in which he was supposed to be checking up on vital things such as security of the city. But seeing as he had explored high and low only to find that Dras Leona’s soul decent defence was just one fort and a lot of very unpleasant guards. All of whom had true guard intelligence (just about the presence of mind to shout loudly and occasionally whack someone over the head with something hard). He thought that he deserved a bit of a break. Hence, why when he was in his room he had been intrigued to hear a very loud scream (of pain), coming from the floor above him. Not any scream (of pain) either, not the usual ‘oh why is my wife smashing me over the head with a frying pan’ sort of scream. More of a ‘why did I get bundled into a dark alley to have my knee-caps broken’ sort of scream. This had obviously intrigued Elaniver and so instead of going at it like ‘impact engineering’ (hit it with a hammer and it may just work out fine), he had gone downstairs and inquired as to who was staying in the room above him.

Now to Elaniver, the title ‘doctor’ meant someone who does good things for humanity such as cure incurable diseases and sit in a strangely lit room with glasses as they ponder over how exactly they can turn an old boot into gold. The title didn’t spring to mind a vision of locking people in a room to make them utter one or both of the sounds I discussed in the first paragraph. He waited now. Calmly and collectively, certain that the ‘doctor’ would come down to his call. This woman certainly had a lot of fuss made over her if she needed several people to discuss what the messenger was to say before asking if Elaniver could see her or not. Maybe because they didn’t want to end up screaming.

Elaniver turned as he heard footsteps on the stairs and stared at them with interest on his face, his Dwarven war hammer calmly hanging from his belt, just above the floor. He almost broke one of his own personal views as the woman appeared. The effort to keep his jaw where it should be as opposed to lolling all over the floor was simply astronomical. He smiled at the woman and held out a hand, true to his down to earth form. “Hello, my name is Elaniver Addrodoc and I was wondering how you can make such interesting noises in your room.” He noticed how all of the slaves in the general vicinity seemed to momentarily freeze before hurrying along with their business at a very fast pace.
« Last Edit: October 28, 2009, 04:12:55 AM by Jack Aries » Logged

Lucy Pevensie
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jennifu2006@msn.com jennifu88 faeriequeen06
« Reply #1 on: October 24, 2009, 04:04:20 PM »

Hey, and welcome to Into Narnia! Unfortunately, I can't accept this app quite yet.

From the Character Application Rules:
Quote
-Under no circumstances can an original character cross the threshold into the Narnian universe from Earth. This is a precautionary measure to ensure that this doesn't become a cross-over RPG, and that we keep with Lewis' vision of Narnia, where characters only crossed into Narnia from Earth for a specific, significant purpose.


Your character has to be originally from the Narnia universe. Also, our RP takes place during Prince Caspian, so he couldn't have been presented to the "kings and queens". The current "king" is the Telmarine Miraz (see the Storyline for more details). 

I haven't yet read most of your application, as the things I listed above are pretty major.  So go ahead and take a look at those, make the necessary changes, and let me know when you're done, so I can look more closely at your app! And if you have any questions, feel free to ask me via PM or in this forum!
« Last Edit: October 24, 2009, 04:06:16 PM by Lucy Pevensie » Logged

Jack Aries
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« Reply #2 on: October 24, 2009, 04:16:00 PM »

changes have been made i think, my deepest apologies for the shoddy mistakes so far. Smiley
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jennifu2006@msn.com jennifu88 faeriequeen06
« Reply #3 on: October 25, 2009, 01:01:05 AM »

Hey! Thanks for making changes.  However, it is important to remember that Narnia is based more or less on the medieval era in Europe.

From the Character Application Rules:
Quote
-Your character should keep to the Narnia universe. They should not have superpowers, starships, a secret alien identity, etc. The technology of Narnia is medieval, with chainmail, swords, arrows and magic. There are no cannons, crossbows, guns, planes or cars.


More specifically to your character, there's no rock music, no business corporations, no phones, etc.  Also, you still don't quite have things in line with the Prince Caspian canon. Have you read the book or seen the movie? If not, I suggest you read the Plot Summary on Wikipedia. All non-humans are currently in hiding (and are thought by the humans not to exist). So therefore, centaurs wouldn't exactly bring Jack to the king, for the king would likely have them killed.

I hope that helps! As before, let me know if you have questions!
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Jack Aries
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« Reply #4 on: October 25, 2009, 03:59:30 AM »

Changes have been made once again Misha. Smiley

Sorry for my ignorence, i did see the film, just didnt think.
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jennifu2006@msn.com jennifu88 faeriequeen06
« Reply #5 on: October 25, 2009, 10:57:57 PM »

Alright, we're getting closer! I'm going to start getting into more details now, as you seem to have a better idea of where this RP is set, and I've now read your whole application more closely.

First, you still have some anachronisms, things that just don't seem to fit in with the feudal/agricultural system of the Narnian universe (see this wiki article for more details on what a feudal society looks like).  Some main things that relate to your app are that there isn't really a middle class, and there are no real businesses (at least the way we think of them, with accountants and business deals, etc.). You have quite a few other things here that don't make sense with the time period, but the only other one I'll mention is the tattoos. While there were tattoos in the time period, they weren't the same as they are today, and I think it'd be easier if you just took out all mention of them unless you wanted to research medieval tattoos.  Basically, you've made a start towards making his app more set in a medieval time period, but you need to look more carefully at everything to make sure it fits.

Further, where exactly did Jack grow up?  Inside the walls of Miraz' castle?  Why did he leave it? Why did he go into the forest, when most Telmarines think that the forests are haunted? And most importantly, what were his thoughts on meeting the Narnians, and why did the Narnians accept him?  These Narnians that he just met aren't even supposed to exist; it would be a big deal if he were to come across them, and most Telmarine's first instinct would be to fight or flee.  Further, the Narnians are quite suspicious of humans and outsiders (for good reason), and I'd doubt they'd accept him easily.

In general, I'd like you to expand the area of his history that talks about Jack's life. You do a great job expanding on the events surrounding his birth and how his parents (and adoptive parent) met.  However, this is Jack's app, and not his parents', and I'd like to know more about his life.

Further, the numbers in your profile don't add up to Jack's age. According to the general history portion, he was conceived seventeen years ago, but you have his age listed as 26. Also, what do you mean by "views" in his likes and "tainted views" in his dislikes? It's not quite clear.

And finally, please run this through a spelling and grammar check.  There are so many typos and mistakes that it's really hard to read.  Once you've done that, look it over carefully again, and maybe even read it aloud. A few mistakes are fine (I call myself a grammar Nazi, but I'm really not!), but right now you have so many that it makes this a chore to read.

As always, make those changes, let me know when you're done, and I'd be glad to take another look!
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Jack Aries
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« Reply #6 on: October 26, 2009, 04:50:44 AM »

Even more changes have been made Misha. Smiley
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jennifu2006@msn.com jennifu88 faeriequeen06
« Reply #7 on: October 27, 2009, 05:07:21 PM »

Wonderful! It's looking much better. Hopefully, after just one more edit, you should be good to go.

First, I suggest that you look at the whole thing over once more for the things I've mentioned earlier. In particular, look for anachronisms (for example: no process for adoption, inns rather than hotels, no "weapons businesses", and I'd still change "tattoos" in his "likes") and spelling/grammar mistakes.  Also, your numbers still don't make sense. Magnus and Linda couldn't have met 22 years ago, and Magnus and Alicia probably should have met just under 27 years ago if Jack is 26.

Your history is much more fleshed out now, which I like! I think, however, it is a bit presumptuous to call Jack the "spearhead" of the army (though I suppose it sort of depends on what you mean by that). After all, it seems he's been with the Narnians for only a short time, and there haven't been many battles yet. I would suggest that you say that he's just a member of the army, or possibly that he leads a small group of soldiers.  Or maybe he wants to prove himself as the "spearhead", but hasn't yet done that.

Anyway, go over your app once more closely (it is, after all, the thing people are going to keep going back to if they want to know about your character, so you want to make a good impression!), and then I'll take another look!
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Jack Aries
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« Reply #8 on: October 28, 2009, 04:14:07 AM »

more edits have been made, my laptop has trouble with spellcheck, it takes forever for it to get the jist of what you want and half the edits it wants to make is on the code. Smiley
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jennifu2006@msn.com jennifu88 faeriequeen06
« Reply #9 on: October 28, 2009, 02:58:08 PM »

Much better! Your numbers still don't quite make sense (I'd add one year to each of them), and I'd like you to make sure you pay special attention to your spelling and grammar when you actually start RPing.  However, overall, I think this app is good enough now to be

Accepted!


Welcome to Into Narnia!
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Jack Aries
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« Reply #10 on: October 28, 2009, 04:12:44 PM »

YAY! Smiley

Thanks very much Misha Smiley
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