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CotM - Mar. 2010
Character of the Month
Prince Caspian

Read the Application
Played by Cara

"Cara has managed to...create a character that is both mythical and life-like. Impulsive, moody, and yet kind and good-hearted, Caspian is just beginning to show the makings of a true leader."
Character of the Month Archive
Last 15 Shouts:
April 11, 2010, 09:07:48 PM
*wanders in an away-from-them-wardly direction*
April 06, 2010, 07:38:36 PM
Irritations indeed... *growls and sits on the ground, holding her head*
April 04, 2010, 08:10:18 PM
Alright, let's avoid fighting among ourselves. Save those irritations for the battlefield.
April 02, 2010, 11:25:42 PM
*grabs at the throbbing ache in her head* You! This hasn't a thing to do with you unless you're about ready to hand over my weapon! *groans cause it REALLY hurt* You... *slouches against a tree*
April 02, 2010, 11:24:35 PM
Angry It was just a little fun, lighten up. (rubs his cheek) You're lucky you're a lady, else I'd have boxed your ears.
April 02, 2010, 11:23:03 PM
D:< (swats Arina upside the head)
April 02, 2010, 11:20:46 PM
I do believe I was well within my rights, making unfounded accusations! And I could have very well hit him with something else if some feathered maiden hadn't snatched away my bow!
April 02, 2010, 11:19:11 PM
>:/ That was completely uncalled for.
April 02, 2010, 11:18:42 PM
:O
April 02, 2010, 11:18:21 PM
*slaps the despicable de la Braose man*
April 02, 2010, 11:15:48 PM
XD
April 02, 2010, 11:12:38 PM
Young WHAT?! *please imagine a rather screechy voice as she thinks of a way to kill person*
April 02, 2010, 11:07:17 PM
Ahh, young love Grin
April 02, 2010, 10:26:40 PM
-grins-
April 02, 2010, 10:08:49 PM
*scowls and says through clenched teeth* I believe I disagree.
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Thoran Bearin
Roleplayer
Underland Gnome
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« on: December 28, 2009, 05:03:55 PM »

About You
Name: Christian Kvalheim   
Age: 18
How did you find us: RPG-D
Rules Password: [Password Accepted ~Misha]

Character Basics
Full Name: Thoran Bearin (Former name, Thoraznath Bearinthes)
Alias(es)/Nickname(s):
Gender: Male
Age: 970
Species: Phoenix
Status/Title:
Affiliation: Narnia.

Character Appearance
Hair/Fur/Feathers: His Feathers is a darker tone of red but still has its bright shining red in the feathers swell. The patter of the feathers is at the tip of the feathers there is a bright fiery red and on the end of them there is a darker shade of red.
Eyes: Glowing red/yellow/orange mix.
Overall: As all phoenix's he is a bird creature, the beak is a light brown color mixed with a orange tone in it. Thoran stands at from Talons to head when stretched out at 2.20 meters in height and is from one wing to the other 4.50 meters long.  He has many small cuts over his body but one over his left eye is a very distinct mark after he assaulted a squad of ten Telmarine hunters and got sliced over the left eye by the leaders blade. Even though he managed to slay them he still wonders why he even dived from the heavens and down onto them at the first place. He also has a mark of what seems like an arrow on his neck that seems to have missed his neck bone by a few inches.

Portrayal:


Character Personality
Likes:
Mountains: So high and peaceful.
Forests: So much to see and learn.
Aslan: Who doesn't like him?
Mice: They are just interesting creatures.
Birds: I can't hate my self can i?
Lakes: They sound so nice.
Water: Ah water tastes so good.

Dislikes:
Humans: They eat birds.
Telmarines: They are annoying.
Centaurs: They use bows and have human like things.
Dwarves: human like things.
Royalty: Stuck up little *goes of into grumbles*.

Strengths:
His size and wingspan.
His age.
Being a phoenix.
Experience.
Talons.
Crushing force with talons.

Weaknesses:
Being a phoenix: They can see me!
Age: I am old and weaker then my youth.
Size and wingspan: You ever tried sneaking through a forest where you can't fly because you are big and wide?
Hollow bones: They snap easier.
Experience: Hard time adjusting.
Cold against humans: That goes against all humans.
Hard to gain trust: It would be easier to learn a human to fly.
Stubborn: When he has set his mind to something it is near like impossible to stop him.
Hatred for human like creatures: He has a deep hatered for human like creatures as they look human like and to these creatures he will not hesitate to leave them in a fight if they have done annything to annoy him.
Kind against Narnians: He is very kind to Narnians he means are true Narnians, this means bears and such. This opens him for attack from any animal that has a bone to pick with him.

General Personality:
Cold and kind is the words to describe Thoran.
He is both cold and kind it all comes down to what the topic he finds himself in, if he talks to a human no matter who the human is he will act pretty cold and might even not care about them at some points. This is that he has been living within the human time of Narnia for a good while. The second reason for this behavior is that he doesn't trust all of the humans even if they are the kings and queens of old he might still not trust them. This is who he is at first.

When you earn his trust however you will find him to be very kind and almost to the point of family love as he takes care of his friends with his life. The one thing you can count on when you make a friend out of him as that you will never be alone, you will always have a phoenix up in the sky watching you. His trust is hard to gain so when you gain it he will even go to the valley of death and back if he has to just to defend his friends and those he trust and respects. He also is very kind to almost all of the Narnian animals and inhabitants that was around before the humans, like mice, bears, foxes etc etc. This is because that he is one of them and he has no problem with trusting them as they are all allied at the current time.

All around he is very kind when it comes down to it and won't hold back to protect those who stand for Narnia and what it is all about. He is also cold when he is faced with topics where he has to take a stand and will most of the time try and find a way out of it without having to bash some heads. Some times he can't help the feeling of wanting to peck some one in the head and it mostly goes onto a human or something close to what a human is and won't have any problems keep doing it until he gets into a real amount of trouble.

Character History
Family:

General History: As all phoenix's they reborn after they die from ash and fire. Thoran was no exception and when the time came he too did this, When he was born again he began the new life and what it had in stores for him. Thorans first glance into the world was a stone tablet to his side of where he had been reborn and on it was many names that was numbered, The stone tablet was a way for him to get a look into what type of person he had been as it had small words carved into it aswell, these words where all from brutal to savage. Thoran saw the last name that was on the tablet which was "Thoraznath Bearinthes", it also stood that the name needed to change so change it he did. The stone was for the reason as when he had died all memories of his past life had been erased and before he died he wrote down onto the stone who he was and what name he was, this was so that he could remember vaugely who he was and what he had done. It also makes it easier to chose who they will be and how to become that as a phoenix as he was had to count on themselves.  When he changed the name he only shortened it down to Thoran Bearin and went on with the living part of finding food and such to sustain him, when he reached the age of one-hundred years old he left the mountain cave he had called home and began his decent into the forest which was down before it. 

Thoran kept on living and was not a stranger to the forest as time passed, when he reached the age of four hundred he began encountering animals of Narnia that he had not seen before and these animals welcomed him to them as they spoke just as he could, this had been a little shock for Thoran as he didn't really know that others could talk. Quickly Thoran put that aside and began to learn from the other creatures.  He loved gaining knowledge and kept coming back for more of it when he could as he retreated to the cave when winter was at hand and kept inside it only heading out to gather food so that he could survive.

When he had reached the age of nine-hundred he was having daily combats with hunting parties and gained many marks and cuts from it but won most of the times but other times the hunting parties where just to massive and well armed for him to beat. These skirmishes made him even colder in his personality and came around to finding out that any human that would stand with the Telmar would find themselves under his talons or dropped from a high altitude very soon. Any other humans would probably just get chased away or maybe some broken bones. He was never fond of dwarves or Centaurs as they reminded him of humans and that the Centaurs where good with bows swell as that was primarily the one weapon that could harm him. At the latest years he has been keeping to himself and not even bothered to venture out of his cave before he just got to the age of nine-hundred and seventy. When he reached this age he went outside for the first time in many years to not just look for food and water.



Other/Notes: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phoenix_(mythology) Just for Phoenix facts.

Sample
RP Sample:

"They are out hunting again!" Thoran said in a low darkened tone as he didn't like it at all that the hunters had returned to his harvesting grounds in the forest. Clearly they where out after him as they had bows and chainmail, but that shouldn't save them his wrath they had ruined his meal yesterday. "It was such a good collection of fruits swell said with a sad tone in his voice. "They shall pay!" clearly he was still mad to the core about just their presence  in this part of the forest, Thoran took to the wings making a massive flap with them as he left the ground and kept flapping until he reached the tree tops. He could still see the human hunters and didn't really want to hurt them Today chase them of, so he broke the top of the trees and let them fall upon the hunters making some of them faint as the rest of them began to run away.

This made Thoran pretty happy as he then landed in the clearing and began eating his fruit that he had collected for three days and storing the cave only to move them down to the forest to enjoy with a fresh sip of water. As he was enjoying his meal he saw a mice slowly approaching and looked at one of the apples he had, Thoran who loved to share his food with the animals of Narnia bumped the apple with his beak it rolled over to the mouse which happily began to eat of it as if it hadn't eaten anything its entire life. The mouse looked at Thoran and smiled before running away and Thoran finished his fruits before he once again took to the wings leaving the forest and entering the sky. While flying he could see many creatures on the ground looking up on him as his colors radiated in the clear blue sky, this caused some hunters to look in awe upon the massive bird that was flying above their head illuminating the sky around it with the colors of its feathers.
« Last Edit: January 02, 2010, 03:34:20 PM by Thoran Bearin » Logged
Lord Drinian
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anyagal14
« Reply #1 on: December 29, 2009, 03:36:12 AM »

It looks like you are off to a great start on this application in terms of character development and detail. I particuarly like the history. Just a few things:

I didn't get more than a sentence into the application before I noticed major grammatical issues that made things a bit confusing. They are mostly homophones (words that sound similar to other words but are in fact different) as well as subject-verb agreement and punctuation. (Periods at the end of sentences, apostrophes for possessive nouns, etc.)

I'd love to see more specific weaknesses. Right now, the weaknesses you have seem to be those that any phoenix would seem to have physically (such as being visible, aging, and having hollow bones). We're looking for personality weaknesses. I love your trait: inability to change. That is just the sort of thing. Can he be detached and cold? Overzealous? Angry? Bitter? Naive and trusting? I'd love to get just a bit more insight and get into Thor's head!

Also, in the history, I'm not sure I understand the tablet, how it works, or why it's necessary. Can you explain that to me and if it's not necessary, consider taking it out?

Let me know when you've had a chance to look this over and make the changes and I'll give it a second reading!
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Thoran Bearin
Roleplayer
Underland Gnome
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Narnian Magic: 4
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Player's Gender: Male
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Posts: 4
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« Reply #2 on: December 29, 2009, 06:24:25 AM »

First of all Hello.

I am a dislectic (don't know the word) meaning i can't really see a difference in grammer so some help would be nice there.

Secondly added some person thingy at weaknesses and the Stone tablet is like the recorded history of a phoenix and it says every name it has had to what kind of person it was, this makes the phoenix able to change and adapt to one personality or combine them all into a new one which can help it in the age it is in. It also has the names which make a Phoenix remember a bit about how he was as a name reflects a Phoenix and how it is. Like Thoran goes first on Thor which is a strong word as it comes from the god Thor the an on the ending is to make it fit better in the same as the last word Bear, bears are strong but childish, this fits with some of his weaknesses as he can act childish at some of them and the in is just to finish it of.
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anyagal14
« Reply #3 on: December 31, 2009, 03:03:17 PM »

Dyslexia? I actually have that as well. I would suggest you both write and read out loud. It helps for me at least though it doesn't help with the words that sound similar to how they are spelled. If you could be sure to copy and paste your posts and applications into word in order to run the spell check there, that helps.

Also, grammatically, every time you have a subject and a verb and another subject and a verb, you can put either a period, a semi-colon, or a comma and what I like to call a "fanboy" (acronym for all those joining words: for and nor but or yet so). So it should look like this

Subject + verb . Subject + verb.
OR
Subject+ verb; subject + verb.
OR
Subject + verb, FANBOY subject + verb.

Sarah went to the store. She bought pie.
Sarah went to the store; she bought pie.
Sarah went to the store, and she bought pie.

I hope that helps! That's something that is actually the most common English grammatical mistake whether you have writing difficulty, are a native speaker, or are just learning it. Just one of those tricky things. Smiley

As for the tablet, I suppose that makes sense. Could you copy and paste what you explained to me and incorporate it into your history? That way, people who read your application in the future will also understand. There are no limitations or magical abilities that come with the tablet, correct?

Other than that, he seems well-rounded out and if you make the changes and go back to look at all your periods and commas to check for the above rule, I am happy to say this application is
Accepted!

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Thoran Bearin
Roleplayer
Underland Gnome
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Narnian Magic: 4
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Player's Gender: Male
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Posts: 4
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« Reply #4 on: December 31, 2009, 05:54:29 PM »

Well the stone tablet is just a reminder and such so no. About the english thing, Do you know a grammar program that could help me cause i am still not seeing anything to change, this might be just me or such but i just don't see it, might be my bad sight as well, so an grammar program you could find or help find or recommend would be awesome.
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anyagal14
« Reply #5 on: January 13, 2010, 03:10:22 PM »

There aren't really, beyond Microsoft Word's grammar check, programs which would correct things for you. This is mostly because computers can only do so much. Just make sure every time that you are using a conjunction (for and or but or yet so) that you have the proper punctuation and that for every two complete sentences, you are connecting them properly. Smiley
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